(Edited and formatted by George ALEFantes)

"The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th."

"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."

"You see, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."

"... that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport."

Created by Oker Chen

"It's your money. You paid for it."

"I think war is a dangerous place."

"There are some similarities, of course, between Iraq and Vietnam. Death is terrible."

"Rarely is the question asked, 'Is our children learning?'"

"I didn't realize I had dyslexia."

From the Bush or Chimp Website

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."

"I talk to the families who die."

From the Bush or Chimp Website

"I asked Americans to give 4,000 years ... uh ... 4,000 hours over the next ... for the rest of your life ... Of service to America. That's what I asked."

From the Bush or Chimp Website

"Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."

From the Bush or Chimp Website

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."

From the Bush or Chimp Website

"We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence says, that all have got uninalienable rights, endowed by a Creator."

George W Bush at Emma T Booker Elementary School in Florida, 9/11/2001: After already hearing that a plane had hit the first tower, President Bush sits at the head of the class to read "My Pet Goat," continuing more than five minutes after Chief of Staff Andrew Card informs him that a second plane has hit the second tower.

"Why don't you volunteer, why don't you help mentor a child how to read."

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
President Bush at Department of Defense 2005 Appropriations Act signing ceremony, 8/5/2004

President Bush at Independence Day celebration at West Virginia University in Morgantown, WV, 7/4/2005

"Karen is with us. A West Texas girl just like me."

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says 'Fool me once, shame on ... shame on you. Fool me ... you can't get fooled again.'"

"Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. My cabinet could take some pointers from watching that show."

"I think the Japanese people are going to like the taste of US beef. As a matter of fact, I had a good slice of beef last night."

"Abortion is only advocated by persons who have themselves been born."

George W Bush and George HW Bush Fishing in New Orleans

"I know that human beings and fish can coexist peacefully."

For each president, a stock joke is permitted and even quietly encouraged. Ford was clumsy, Reagan was senile, Clinton was oversexed, and Bush was dumb. It keeps us diverted from the true jokes or tragedies and gives the appearance that we are critical of our leaders.

"In my state of the ... my state of the union ... or state ... my speech to the nation ... whatever you want to call it."

"It'll take time to restore chaos."

"Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

"... and you're working hard to put food on your family."

"That's not good enough for America: Tenth is ten spots too low."

"You fucking son of a bitch. I saw what you wrote. We're not going to forget this."

"Because they want the Federal Government controlling the Social Security like it's some kind of Federal program."

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."

"Poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I ... ai ... I'm trying. I can't answer."

"We will export death and violence to the four corners of the earth in defense of this nation."

"You can love a neighbor just like you'd like to be loved yourself."

"Thank you, your Holiness. Awesome speech."
To Pope Benedict, 4/15/2008

"... one of history's worst tyrants. And in so doing, we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure."

"For a century and a half, now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times."

"Terriers and baris everywhere are tor ... are tor ... terrorists and barriers everywhere are torn down."

"I'm oftentimes asked, what difference does it make to America if people are dying of malaria in a place like Ghana? It means a lot morally, it means a lot from a - it's in our national interest."

"All of us in America want there to be fairness when it comes to justice."

"Not one doubt in my mind ... that we will fail."

"In order for us to get the framework, the groundwork ... not framework ... the groundwork to discuss a framework for peace."

"Information is moving - you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets."

"I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft."

"He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."

"The legislature's job is to write law. It's the Executive Branch job to interpret law."

"No President has ever done more for human rights than I have."

"I think we ought to raise the age at which a juvenile can have a gun."

"... and find out that the literacy level of our children are appalling."

"Well, I, I, uh, I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region."

"Some call this civil war; others call it emergency - I call it pure evil."

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."

"They misunderestimated me."

CLEAR SKIES INITIATIVE
The gutting of the Clean Air Act and sanctioning of corporate polluting

NEW FREEDOM INITIATIVE
The mass forced drugging of schoolchildren

HEALTHY FORESTS INITIATIVE
The renewal of cutting in old growth forests and transfer of control of forest stewardship into the hands of the logging industry

PATRIOT ACT
The ravaging of all constitutional human rights and freedoms

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