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ALEF WORKS - NOTICES
On Those Who Live In the Glass Houses of Our Culture
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9/11/2010 - NINE AFTER NINE ONE ONE
Then I find I've got the number wrong.
One After 909, Beatles
We have arrived together at the ninth anniversary of the destruction of the Twin Towers, and what have we learned? Complete Notice

8/26/2010 - OBAMA CRYPTO-MUSLIM?
Obama a Muslim? Certainly it is not really so far fetched. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/25/2010 - CONWAY CHAMELEON
Didn't hear your wicked words every day.
Karma Chameleon, Culture Club
Tim Conway, Junior. If anything consistent can be observed and said about him, it is that he can, apparently, change at will. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/24/2010 - REFORMED RACISTS?
Reformed racists? Do you think it's even possible? Or are the words forever an oxymoron uttered by morons as foolish as racism is ugly? Complete Notice

8/23/2010 - CANCER TREATMENT KILLS
He once had to sew his own stitches because he didn't want to be another eugenics statistic.
The fascinating Doctor Leonard Coldwell was the guest on Coast to Coast AM this evening. His contentions about cancer and the cancer industry and his own regular treatments and practices are so antithetical to what we are told on a regular basis by the media, the medical and pharmaceutical industries, and even our peers, that it deserves attention. Complete Notice

Doctor Laura, a Good Start
Created by George ALEFantes
8/18/2010 - A GOOD START
I said in a recent Notice (see 8/1/2010 - Shirley Sherrod Should Rot) that rewarding the racism of Shirley Sherrod with a new job in a new department in the USDA made especially for her, was part of a long-running effort to utterly confuse and overturn all civilized sense and ultimately render the populace unable to know right from wrong. Complete Notice

8/17/2010 - CARCASS-CLONED BEEF
For those of us who have continued to eat beef while the wise and intelligent among us have long since become vegetarians and vegans and connoisseurs of organic and organically grown foods, perhaps the time has finally come to reluctantly make the change. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/16/2010 - OBAMA AND THE MOSQUE
In another of an abysmally few examples of courageous rhetoric about human rights and freedoms in America, President Obama has weighed in in favor of the right of Muslims to build a mosque on World Trade Center's Ground Zero. Complete Notice

Pete, Pope, and Pete the Pup
Created by George ALEFantes
8/15/2010 - PETE GIBSON AND ACADEMIA
Pete Gibson, outspoken father of dysfunctional and severely damaged child, Mel Gibson, (see ALEF Features - Mel and Oksana), had some interesting things to say about the Catholic Church and the Pope in a recent interview. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/4/2010 - CALIFORNIA VOTING
As with all elections, what real choice do California voters actually have in the 2010 gubernatorial race? Complete Notice

8/1/2010 - SHIRLEY SHERROD SHOULD ROT
What the Hell am I missing here? Complete Notice

7/8/2010 - LINDSAY LOHAN SENTENCED TO NINETY DAYS
Lindsay Lohan, truly one of the most ghastly-looking leading ladies in American Jurisprudence today, has been awarded her much deserved and long-awaited "lead role in a cage." Complete Notice

Tyrants
Created by George ALEFantes
7/1/2010 - MEL GIBSON, GUILTY AS CHARGED
Australia has been a source for a myriad of wonderful things - from actors, movies, music, and bands, including the DiVinyls, INXS, and Midnight Oil, to a fauna of interesting animals from kangaroos to koalas to wombats; even Paul Hogan as Crocodile Dundee, and Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. But Russell Crowe, the overgrown baby who throws phones at people's heads when they don't serve him as he'd like, Pete Gibson, the monster patriarch and poster-octogenarian of insanity and anti-Semitism, and his boy, Mel Gibson, are definitely not included, and are rather different animals altogether, and, frankly, a total crock of shit! Complete Notice

This Many
Created by George ALEFantes
6/29/2010 - BET, BIEBER, AND BROWN
BET, Bieber, and Brown. You hire that law firm and that's your ass. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
6/15/2010 - CARDINAL MAHONY AND SATAN
Testimony from the deposition of Los Angeles Cardinal Roger Mahony over ongoing Catholic Church pedophilia revelations was released today. The good Cardinal is now on record admitting that he did not report to police that priest Michael Baker, in particular, had confided in him regarding his molestation of two children. Complete Notice

5/31/2010 - ARIZONA, THE SCLC, AND THE JEWS
The standard to apply is quite simple, and it has been violated with regard to Arizona far more than it has been adhered to: It is racist to hold that a person of a particular race has an inherently greater right to speak for his or her race or to praise or condemn it with impunity. It is likewise anti-Semitic to hold that a Jew has an inherently greater right to speak for, praise, or criticize Jews. And it is racist, anti-Semitic, fascist, and exclusionary to downplay or deny the equivalent rights of people not of a particular race or not Jews to speak about a race or about Jews in any manner consistent with how members of that race or Jews might speak. Complete Notice

In Loving Memory
Created by George ALEFantes
5/29/2010 - DENNIS HOPPER DIES
In dreams I walk with you.
In Dreams, Roy Orbison
Complete Notice

5/28/2010 - GARY COLEMAN DIES
Gary Coleman died today: May 28, 2010, Utah, brain hemorrhage. Remembered first for his role as Arnold Jackson on the show Different Strokes, which came to an end about twenty-five years ago, all I can think of is the troubled, spotted life the poor guy led ever since. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
5/25/2010 - BILL GATES AND DEPOPULATION
For those few remaining people among us who still believe that vaccination programs have ever been well-intentioned, and for those equally few who still regard Bill and Melinda Gates as philanthropists because of their activity in global vaccination programs, hopefully you'll all come around eventually; enlightenment through exposure. Complete Notice

5/23/2010 - ARIZONA, AGAIN AND AGAIN
No, Arizona, your new anti-Illegal Immigration law is neither racist nor fascist, after all! There is no semblance of a parallel whatsoever with Nazi Germany or even the Holocaust. To you and all of your dedicated and heartwarming supporters, whose love and wisdom we mistook for barbaric hatred and inhuman vileness, we are deeply sorry. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
5/22/2010 - FELIPE CALDERON'S AMERICA
Yes, the President of Mexico stood before our Congress and had the nerve to criticize our immigration policies (the new Arizona law, aside). Complete Notice

5/21/2010 - PACMAN
Today was the thirty-year anniversary of the introduction of the PacMan video game. In 1980, it heralded the rise of the personal computer industry. It humbly represented one of those rare and significant moments in human history, usually separated by millennia, like the Stone, Bronze, and Iron Ages, the introduction of writing, the printing press, the wheel, and even the Internet, following closely behind the computer (though in some ways, a necessary extension of its inevitable networking, and therefore part of the same phenomena). Complete Notice

Fascism Was My Idea
Created by George ALEFantes
5/18/2010 - WOODY ALLEN, PEDOPHILIA, AND FASCISM
Woody Allen, Hollywood personality most famous for having sex with his own adopted daughter, who went from changing her diapers to amorously removing her panties, and also once known for making movies, like Manhattan, a story, not surprisingly, about a middle-aged man who falls in love and has an affair with an underaged teenage girl (certainly not an autobiographical film due to the advanced age of the girl involved), was in the news today in two different stories. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
5/15/2010 - SHE'S FIFTY! AND UNMARRIED
On May 10, 2010, President Obama selected Elena Kagan to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens. Although it will be the first time three women will have served on the Court at the same time, and also the first time, they tell us, for two Jewish women, and, though she is no Sally O'Malley, her Republican detractors will oppose her nomination based upon three, or perhaps four, perceived problems with her, so far. Complete Notice

Conway Pedophile
Created by George ALEFantes
5/11/2010 - TIM CONWAY, JUNIOR, PEDOPHILIA, AND KFI
and
the
goat-footed
balloonMan whistles
far
and
wee
in Just, e e cummings
Tim Conway, Junior, already the sleaziest and stupidest host ever to disgrace the Los Angeles radio airwaves, appearing on KFI 640 AM from 7:00 to 10:00 PM Monday through Friday and 4:00 to 7:00 PM Saturday, spent half an hour vociferously promoting pedophilia, child rape, and child molestation and giving the wicked, predatory NAMBLA agenda a much appreciated boost and free air-time for their sick views. Complete Notice

5/7/2010 - ARIZONA - A CHALLENGE TO BOTH SIDES
In the very midst of the controversy and conflict over the severely polarizing new Arizona law targeting Hispanics, whether US citizens or not, by allowing law enforcement to require "papers" on demand from anyone they choose to detain for any other reason, lawmakers in San Francisco, CA have proposed their own Immigration law that will certainly gain as much, if not more, attention than Arizona's. Complete Notice

5/6/2010 - CINCO DE MAYO AT LIVE OAK HIGH SCHOOL
Yesterday, a group of non-Hispanic students were sent home from school during the Cinco de Mayo celebration at their Live Oak High School in Morgan Hill, CA for wearing shirts with the US flag prominently displayed on them! Complete Notice

Tengo Un Sueno
Created by John Kiapos
5/5/2010 - ARIZONA BOYCOTT
The people on the right side of the turmoil over the new Arizona law (that is, the Right Wing side - hardly the right side, this time), the ones currently being called racists and fascists, are claiming that the misguided protests of the people on the Left (the side that is right, this time), are inadvertently hurting innocent workers, employees of the Arizona-based companies that are being boycotted. Complete Notice

5/4/2010 - THE BEAST
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things"
Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll
The shamefully inhuman Arizona immigration debacle was largely a right wing, conservative, and Republican matter (see 4/27/2010 - Arizona and 4/29/2010 - Arizona Reprise). But don't jump into the waiting jaws of the walrus on the other side too quickly. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
5/3/2010 - AL SHARPTON AND CIVIL RIGHTS
Racists everywhere, especially those associated with support for the new Arizona law, are confused and dumbfounded that the Black Al Sharpton would support and organize protests for Illegal Immigrants and Hispanic Americans. Complete Notice

5/2/2010 - HOLLYWOOD PROPAGANDA!?
Apparently filmmaker Robert Rodriguez, in conjunction with Twentieth Century Fox, will release Machete on September 3rd, 2010, a film protesting the treatment of Illegal Immigrants in America and starring Robert DeNiro as the racist and fascist Senator trying to enact Arizona-like legislation. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
5/1/2010 - A BUNCH OF MAHONY
Regardless of what side of the new Arizona law you are on, whether the side of kindness and humanity or the darker side of hatred, intolerance, racism, and fascism, and whether you like LA Cardinal Mahony or not, despite how he has handled the children thing, his words at the May Day rally, that "everyone is legal in God's eyes," should, to any rational person, provide the necessary first argument in any syllogism intended to either support or oppose the law. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
4/30/2010 - GONE IN A FLASH
His feet were large, exceptionally furry, and both were on the table
The Fellowship of the Ring, JRR Tolkien
When Godzilla and Rodan do battle on the outskirts of the city, it is difficult to take sides. Neither means us well. And so our brief allegiances are often political - the enemy of my enemy, blah, blah, blah. The best we can ever hope for, like Byzantium's Alexius, who was, by necessity, expert at taking pairs of enemy nations and pitting them against each other instead, is that both are mutually and mortally wounded and the world is rid of their monstrous evil for good. Complete Notice

Arizona Flag
Created by George ALEFantes
4/29/2010 - ARIZONA REPRISE
It takes large murder to turn rocks in the shade
and expose strange worms beneath. The lives of
our discontented madmen are revealed.
Jim Morrison
If the stakes were not so high or the human indignity not so real, the right wing's reaction to the barbaric failure of their inhuman, anti-Illegal Immigration law in Arizona would be hilarious (see 4/27/2010 - Arizona). Complete Notice

4/27/2010 - ARIZONA
Arizona has passed and approved a rather Draconian policy concerning Illegal Aliens, charging police with the duty of requesting proof of citizenship and granting them the power to arrest and initiate deportations for those who cannot produce it. Complete Notice

Fezzing-up to the Genocide
Created by George ALEFantes
4/26/2010 - ARMENIANS - GENOCIDE, OBAMA - TURKEY
President Obama has broken his promise to the Armenian-American community for the second year in a row. Complete Notice

And Proud of It!
Created by George ALEFantes
4/18/2010 - KFI'S CON WAY OR THE HIGH WAY
Call me Hitler-like!
Tim Conway, Junior
Now that Los Angeles AM radio station KFI's new Tim Conway, Junior has turned his temporary job into a regular nightly show and is no longer on his best behavior, we find that he is one of the most sleazy, low-class, stupid, uneducated, and mean-spirited hosts, with a host of other personality and character issues and limitations, and, consequently, with severe and insurmountable content challenges: The greatest disappointment and embarrassment we have ever heard disgrace himself on our airwaves. Complete Notice

4/16/2010 - FLAMING LIPS ON JIMMY FALLON
the barbarous clangor of a gong
Nineteen Hundred and Nineteen, William Butler Yeats
We get defensive when anyone has the audacity to try to emulate songs from our all-time favorite groups. If the group happens to be Pink Floyd, whose adherents know well transcends and is completely separate from all conventional means of measuring artists, normal defensiveness gives way to a secure, occult knowledge of our revered adepts, an elite snicker, and a casual dare to anyone willing to disgrace themselves. Complete Notice

4/13/2010 - GERONIMO!!!
In a sad anticlimax to the NBC Conan O'Brien debacle, it was reported today that he has signed a deal, not with FOX, as expected by most, or Comedy Central, as I imagined, but with cable network station, TBS, Turner Broadcasting Systems. Complete Notice

4/2/2010 - "... AND WHISTLE DIXIE"
Sarah Palin wrapped in the American flag reminds me of a crude saying budding males liked to use to describe its proper function with girls they regarded as ugly, but, to some Republicans, she may be the closest they will get to the kind of prurient pornography and obscenity about which Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said in 1964, "I know it when I see it." But I wonder if it is a downright illegal use of the American flag. Complete Notice

4/1/2010 - GOOGLE LIKES FAMILY VALUES: LIKES TO WATCH!
Unnamed sources in Palo Alto, California have re-confirmed rumors concerning Google's newest and most controversial service to date: "Google Family View." Believed to be a synthesis of methodologies employed in "Google Earth," "Google Street View," and Twitter, and employing DARPA's new RDP, Reverse Distributed Processing, technology, it intends to give a never-before-seen view into American households, without their knowledge or consent, and promises to be more accurate and compelling than your favorite TV reality show. Complete Notice

Yo, Ho!
Created by George ALEFantes
3/26/2010 - YO, HO!
I guess I applaud Disney for the value they place on the integrity of their historical accuracy in putting out a casting call for the next Pirates movie for only women with natural breasts: Implants need not apply, matey. Complete Notice

3/19/2010 - SANDRA BUTTOCK
Sandra Bullock, best remembered for her classy, fun-loving participation in a group "mooning" of people on the shore from the passing boat used during the filming of Speed 2: Cruise Control, and briefly known for the inordinate honors bestowed upon her by the Hollywood wasteland for her portrayal in the racist film, The Blind Side, of a White woman so gracious as to take in such a large Black man as her own (really, how much would Hollywood have fawned all over it had it just been some fat White kid?), and for her perplexing and anomalous marriage to hardcore, cool guy, Jesse James (you know, to "watch her back" - or was it buttock? - we've certainly heard that he does, indeed, like to watch), is soon heading back to the plain, most-likely unmarried state that is commensurate with the actual impression most of us have had of her, as the conduct of Jesse James, in his year-long affair with a San Diego, California stripper, confirms our deepest, unshaken convictions about Miss Congeniality. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
3/12/2010 - HOLLYWOOD HURT LOCKER
Let me have the dubious honor of being one of the first to dare say that The Hurt Locker was a piece of Crash and that, like that movie a few years before, was an utter failure and piece of crap, and to a degree that is approximately inversely proportional to the mob clamor of its supporters and fans. Complete Notice

3/10/2010 - TOMATOES AND TREASON
So here's the newest one. World Net Daily (www.WND.Com) has presented a derivative work of Barack Obama ostensibly being struck by a tomato. Many are arguing that the depiction of a president being hit by a tomato is disrespectful and goes too far. Others say that the depiction of rotten fruit being thrown at a politician is a completely valid expression of protest in a free country. I must certainly be included. Still others, also including me, see a large, bloody bullet hole far more prominently than a tomato. And that certainly does go too far. Complete Notice

3/3/2010 - "SERIAL KILLA"
Too bad, but little surprise, that a 12,000-pound "Killer" Whale at Sea World in Orlando, Florida "killed" one of its trainers; especially having killed twice before: Another trainer in Canada in 1991, and a naked man found lying dead on its back in 1999. Hell, that would be a Serial Killer Whale by human standards. While a poor mountain lion would have been hunted down and killed just for snarling at someone's child. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
2/25/2010 - AMERICAN FATWA
The Missile Defense Agency, www.MDA.Mil, a part of the US Department of Defense, was originally established in 1983 as the Strategic Defense Initiative, then renamed to the Ballistic Missile Defense Organization in 1993, and finally to the Missile Defense Agency in 2002. It's recent logo change has stirred-up a few questions. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
1/28/2010 - KKKHRIS MATTHEWS
Chris Matthews of MSNBC has often been described as a head-over-heels idolater of Barack Obama. In fact, after Obama's first State of the Union Address, Matthews was so enamored with the speech, so excited about "an African-American guy in front of a bunch of other white people," that he said he forgot that Obama was Black. Complete Notice

1/22/2010 - JEAN SIMMONS DIES
British actress, Jean Simmons, died today of lung cancer at her home in Santa Monica, California, at eighty years of age. Complete Notice

1/21/2010 - CONAN: ONE DAY LEFT
NBC has finally settled with Conan O'Brian for $45 million. What a whirlwind! One day Conan learns that his show is terminally ill and, in a week, it's dead. Man, that Comcast doesn't mess around. Complete Notice

1/20/2010 - PENGUIN AWARENESS DAY
Today, January 20, is actually Penguin Awareness Day. It would be a great time to familiarize yourself with the Linux operating system, since the penguin is its logo. Complete Notice

Nimbus - Nimrod
Created by George ALEFantes
1/20/2010 - OBAMA'S FIRST ANNIVERSARY
I complained the other day about the fact that President Obama, despite the graciousness of saying nothing when attacked with racist rhetoric or satire, should occasionally make some kind of formal and official statement - if only for those of us who are either personally offended or simply do not believe such dialog should ever be permitted to go unacknowledged and uncriticized in our society (see 1/9/2010 - Racist Harry Reid Remains Senate Grand Dragon). Complete Notice

Leno and Pattinson
Created by George ALEFantes
www.MorphThing.Com
1/20/2010 - TEAM LENO
The above is a morphing of Jay Leno and Robert Pattinson from the Twilight series. God knows it brings a modest gentleness to Leno's look after the recent events. It represents our ongoing endorsement of Jay Leno as the best "asset" of late night. It accompanies our grave disappointment, after ten years of avid support, in Conan's subsequent five-and-a-half-year-long decline into infantile obscurity. It also accompanies our newfound disgust with Jimmy Kimmel for placing vileness above comedy and our ongoing disrespect for David Letterman. Complete Notice

Avatar Conehead
Created by George ALEFantes
1/20/2010 - AVATAR AND "HUMAN AUTHORITY FIGURES"
People are beginning to report headaches, nausea, dizziness, blurred vision, hypertension, and most importantly, suicidal impulses after seeing Avatar. In fact at least one person has officially died already after collapsing during the movie, being rushed to the hospital, and first being diagnosed with a brain hemorrhage. Complete Notice

1/19/2010 - GOODBYE, CONAN O'BRIEN. PWNED!
It's about time the piano realized it didn't write the sonata.
All About Eve
Conan:
When you were still in shock from Comcast's brutal corporate blindsiding, you had the laughable audacity to talk about protecting and preserving the Tonight Show "franchise," as if it were yours to protect and preserve. As if you thought you owned the show. But you were the one who was owned (see 1/7/2010 - Owned!)! Complete Notice

1/18/2010 - TIM CONWAY, JR AT KFI
Tim Conway, Jr, the recently acquired KFI Los Angels radio talk show host, used until now for the 4 to 7 PM weekend show and for occasional vacation relief, has been awarded the 7 to 10 PM weekday show vacated by the vacuous Bryan Suits. Complete Notice

1/16/2010 - NBC'S CORPORATE CONDUCT
And let's face it, has NBC really acted that egregiously? Complete Notice

1/10/2010 - "TIGER, TIGER, BURNING BRIGHT"
William Blake
This is what I mean about intentionally misguided criticism of the entitled. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
1/9/2010 - RACIST HARRY REID REMAINS SENATE GRAND DRAGON
"light-skinned with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one."
Democratic Senator and Majority Leader, Harry Reid Complete Notice

1/7/2010 - OWNED!
When it gets to the point that Conan's still and lifeless wax figure exhibits more integrity and vitality than Conan himself, the time is overdue for him to go. And I suspect that Conan has bitterly known it for about as long as we have, but has not only been unwilling to address the matter, but even appears to be intentionally exacerbating it in a kind of relenting defiance. Complete Notice

12/18/2009 - MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Merry Christmas, to whomever it may concern! And to our many other dear friends among the Jews, Muslims, Jehovah's Witnesses, atheists, ACLU, and all the well-meaning detractors of the yuletide season, just as we acknowledge and encourage the celebration of all of the various holidays and cultural, religious, and social events, including, no less, the right to personally celebrate none or Nothing, we do not respect anyone who condemns or interferes with someone else's harmless celebrations and hope, if nothing else, we can all at least just enjoy the extra day off, in this time of good will to all, and otherwise just shut the fuck up. We'll all be back at work together soon enough slaving equally for the Masters. Complete Notice

12/13/2009 - MUSLIM MOON
There is always some amount of prurient confusion in any discussion of Homosexuality and Islam. Indeed there has been a fair share from both corners in response to recent notices (see 11/9/2009 - "Muslim Backlash", 11/7/2009 - Fort Hood, and 11/6/2009 - Unjust Desert; but especially see 11/6/2009 - Your Ass Is the Bomb!; and also 9/4/2009 - Down Low In Afghanistan" and 8/10/2009 - Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Release Photographs). Complete Notice

12/12/2009 - BLACK POPE
The Vatican has uploaded its playlist of twelve songs onto their official MySpace streaming music service page, released this week in the UK. Along with selections from Mozart and Shirley Bassey are Muse's Uprising and Tupac Shakur's Changes. Complete Notice

11/29/2009 - GO GET EM, TIGER!
Tiger Woods, as famous for being a "Black" golfer as he is famous for just being a highly talented golfer, but who is actually one-quarter Chinese, one-quarter Thai, one-eighth Native American, one-eighth Dutch, and only one-quarter Black (but who is nevertheless promoted in the same disingenuous and racist manner as are Barack Obama and Halle Berry), after leaving his home in the tightly-guarded Isleworth, Florida gated community, had a severe accident at 2:30 AM in his Cadillac SUV in front of his house while trying to leave his driveway! The vehicle hit both a fire hydrant and a tree and sustained over $8,000 worth of damage. Complete Notice

11/26/2009 - HAPPY THANKSGIVING
President Obama pardoned his first turkey today, Courage, sent from North Carolina. A second turkey, named Carolina, was also provided in the event that Courage died before he could be granted a pardon from death. Complete Notice

11/25/2009 - OUR AMERICAN HYPOCRISY
Americans proudly promote the spread of our great innovation and inventiveness, our far-reaching, modern ideas, and our superior values, boasting when the rest of the world follows our leads and consents to our grandiose American Way, especially so that history can record the transmission for our proud posterity. Complete Notice

11/24/2009 - MAN'S SON
Forty-one-year-old Matthew Roberts, a Los Angeles DJ born in the Hippie summer of 1968, learned at ten that he was adopted, but did not begin to trace his lineage until he was twenty-nine. He located his birth mother in Wisconsin, learned that he was originally named Lawrence Alexander, but did not discover the truth about his father for some time later. Complete Notice

11/23/2009 - TAYLOR SWIFT
Taylor Swift is not the young artifact from American Idol. That was Carrie Underwood. Complete Notice

11/22/2009 - WHY THE LONG FACES, LOS ANGELES?
Why the long faces, Los Angeles? It's nothing new. It's just another in an endless stream of examples of elite entitlement, double standards, and our two-tier legal system. Complete Notice

11/20/2009 - MODERN SLAVERY
Currently, more than twenty-seven million human beings are being held in slavery in every country in the world and in every state in the US. Whether in forced labor, especially agricultural, or in forced prostitution, especially of minors, that is more than twice the total number of human beings subjected to slavery during the entire 350 years of the Atlantic Slave Trade. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
11/18/2009 - SARAH PALIN GOING ROUGE
Sarah Palin's new book, Going Rogue is out. At first, I thought it was called "Going Rouge," as in makeup, because, after all, she tries to promote herself as a woman instead of simply as a neutral gender human being. And it also comes from the word "red," the official color of her Russian neighbors. Complete Notice

11/15/2009 - TOP 500 SUPERCOMPUTERS
The list is out for the month of November, 2009 that breaks down the operating systems used in the top 500 supercomputers: Complete Notice

11/10/2009 - "BY JUPITER, FORGOT!"
Coriolanus
It is early in the evening of November 10, 2009, the date planned for the execution by lethal injection of John Allen Muhammad, the man known as the "DC Sniper," who terrorized Virginia, Maryland, and Washington DC for three weeks in 2002 and left ten dead. Complete Notice

11/9/2009 - MUSLIM "BACKLASH"
The "backlash" against Muslim-Americans that I warned about in my discussion of Fort Hood (see 11/7/2009 - Fort Hood) is underway and has already become more sloppy and reckless than I would have imagined. Complete Notice

Fourth Infantry Division Memorial at Fort Hood, Texas
11/7/2009 - FORT HOOD
There will no doubt be plenty of time to discuss the numerous irregularities that have already surfaced at the military base at Fort Hood, Texas, a city unto itself with 92,000 citizens, 57,000 of whom are military personnel. To date, thirteen are dead and thirty others are either wounded or injured after thirty-nine-year-old Major Nidal Malik Hasan opened fire on soldiers on November 5, 2009. Complete Notice

11/6/2009 - UNJUST DESERT
A humble shop owner was arrested and convicted of a series of sexual molestations of young boys, culminating in the brutal rape of an eleven-year-old, later left to die of thirst and exposure in the desert heat. The man was first beheaded then crucified for all others to behold and be made to seriously consider the consequences of such crimes. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
10/28/2009 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN, MR BILL
While children die of nefarious vaccination programs all around the Third World, Bill Gates's lives to see another birthday. And with the release of Windows 7 also this very week, we figured it would be appropriate to simply re-post last year's birthday Notice. For links to a recent list of Articles and Notices about Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer, Microsoft, and the BSA, see 8/26/2009 - Photoshop Eugenics. For a complete list, as well as links to Articles, Notices, and Websites related to Linux, and Linux Mint in particular, see Linux and Linux Mint. The Notice follows intact. Be sure to adjust the reference to his age from fifty-three to fifty-four. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
10/22/2009 - LOOKALIKES
MSNBC's Contessa Brewer introduced Jesse Jackson on a segment today: "Joining me now to talk about this and the nation's real problem of joblessness, the Reverend Al Sharpton." She then proceeded to ask a lengthy question while Jackson calmly and politely waited for her to finish, and then, without changing his facial expression, responded: "I'm Reverend, Jesse Jackson." Complete Notice

10/15/2009 - BALLOON BOY IN A BOX
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.
The Second Coming, William Buttler Yeats
Today, absurd horror gripped the nation as a gigantic Mylar balloon lilted gracefully across the sky 5,000 feet above Fort Collins, Colorado. It was supposedly a weather balloon or something used by self-described scientist and tornado chaser, Richard Heene. Unfortunately, his six-year old son, Falcon, was trapped inside. Complete Notice

10/11/2009 - "LET ME HAVE SURGEONS; I AM CUT TO THE BRAINS"
King Lear
Experts close to the medical industry have confirmed that surgeons, despite the mystique associated with their elevated profession, are among the dumbest and least inspired doctors. What they do possess is simply the drive, confidence, and necessary perversions to cut into and remove parts from the bodies of fellow human beings. In the end, they are no more special than experienced and talented butchers at the supermarket carving out beautiful T-bone steaks. And remember: Complete Notice

10/10/2009 - PEDOPHILES OF EUROPE UNITE FOR POLANSKI
We apologize to French Culture Minister Frederic Mitterrand for our indignation toward his audacity to criticize our Los Angeles prosecutors and for our initial revulsion over his knee-jerk defense of Roman Polanski, following his arrest in Switzerland for the rape of a thirteen-year old girl at the age of forty-six and for subsequently fleeing the country (see 10/3/2009 - Horse's Asses and 9/26/2009 - Roman Polanski Brought To Justice). Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
10/9/2009 - PRESIDENT OBAMA AWARDED NOBEL PRIZE
Obama is awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace. First awarded in 1901, using the fortune bequeathed by Alfred Nobel, major Swedish armaments manufacturer and inventor of dynamite in 1867 by incorporating nitroglycerin, itself just discovered in 1847, into diatomaceous earth. It is said that he committed his wealth on his deathbed to the lofty institution after reading his premature obituary (a genre in itself) by a French newspaper: "The merchant of death is dead. Dr Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday." Complete Notice

10/8/2009 - ECLIPSE OF PROGRESS
He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.
J R R Tolkien
Following closely upon the supposed discovery of trace quantities of water, or hydroxyl (just a single hydrogen with the oxygen atom, in their imaginary world of particles), on the surface of the Moon, NASA has prepared and launched the LCROSS Mission (Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite) from Cape Canaveral, Florida carrying an empty, two-ton Centaur Rocket that will be thrust at 5,600 MPH deep into crater Cabeus A at the Moon's south pole in the hope of ostensibly stirring up ice or water that may be buried under the surface there. It will be broadcast on NASA TV on Friday, October 9, 2009 at 3:15 AM, Pacific Time. Complete Notice

10/7/2009 - LETTERMAN RATINGS, TOLERANCE LEVEL, AND SKIN CONTINUE TO SAG
Showing the only traces of integrity in the entire sleazy Letterman affair, his wife will be seeking a divorce. Complete Notice

10/6/2009 - POLANSKI TO REMAIN SWISS MISS
Where are my Switzers? Let them guard the door.
Hamlet
The Swiss Justice Ministry has rejected an appeal by Roman Polanski to be released from prison pending his possible extradition to the United States. Complete Notice

10/5/2009 - GIBSON APPARENTLY NOT AN ANTI-SEMITE
Mel Gibson's 2006 DUI on the Pacific Coast Highway, in Malibu, California, was cleared from his record today. Being his first DUI conviction and having met the conditions of his probation - attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, appearing in public service announcements, and paying a fine - he was able to expunge the offense from his record. Complete Notice

10/4/2009 - HITLER'S SKULL
It was revealed this week that the skull of Adolph Hitler that Russia has possessed since his "suicide" at the close of World War Two is actually that of a woman. And so the single, remaining fact that has controverted all the conspiracy theories, even to the point of ridicule, is now just another exposed untruth of the bigger lie of World War Two. Complete Notice

10/3/2009 - HORSE'S ASSES
In all fairness, a percentage of the Polanski rape supporters are genuinely merciful people, who, though shortsightedly overlooking the true victims, are merciful nonetheless. All the rest are a bunch of horse's asses, unfortunately highly suspect of either doing the same (often with their own children) or harboring similar strong desires and fantasies and often almost to the point of action. After all, where is the dividing line between thought and action? Probably somewhere around the signing of petitions in support of a rapist (see 9/26/2009 - Roman Polanski Brought To Justice). Complete Notice

10/2/2009 - TED WILLIAMS WINS THE SINGLE CROWN
It was revealed this week that the head of Ted Williams, severed and stored since his death at eighty-three years old in 2002, at Arizona cryogenics firm, Alcor, with the hope that future technology would someday bring it back to life (and also hopefully find a way for it to survive without a body), providing new generations with a taste of the cranky, womanizing Boston left fielder, had been abused beyond all decency, even for the likes of Ted Williams. Complete Notice

10/1/2009 - 9/11 COMMISSION OF A CRIME
John Farmer, Senior Counsel for the 9/11 Commission, is now convinced that the official version of 9/11 was based on false testimony and documents and is almost entirely untrue. Dean of Rutger University School of Law and former New Jersey Attorney General, he was responsible for drafting the original flawed 9/11 report. Complete Notice

9/30/2009 - HOLLYWOOD AND WOODY LOVE CHILDREN
Woody Allen has also come to the defense of child rapist Roman Polanski, arrested yesterday in Switzerland. Complete Notice

9/29/2009 - YOUR ASS IS THE BOMB!
Abdullah Assieri, the appropriately named Muslim terrorist, attempted to assassinate Saudi Deputy Interior Minister, Prince Mohammed bin Nayef, with a bomb and detonator inserted up his ass. Complete Notice

9/28/2009 - LETTERMAN APPARENTLY DOES STILL HAVE SEX
Apparently the aged and decrepit David Letterman has been wielding his powerful position in television to ensnare sex from young female employees at CBS while his wife, and mother of his son, sits patiently at home in Connecticut. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/26/2009 - ROMAN POLANSKI BROUGHT TO JUSTICE
I started something,
I forced you to a zone,
And you were clearly
Never meant to go.
I grabbed you by the gilded beams -
Uhh, that's what tradition means.
And now eighteen months hard labor
Seems fair enough.
I Started Something, The Smiths
Roman Polanski, not quite himself a Charles Manson, was arrested today in Switzerland attempting to receive a lifetime achievement award at the Zurich Film Festival. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/25/2009 - SUSAN ATKINS RELEASED
I see my light come shining
From the west down to the east.
Any day now, any day now,
I shall be released.
I Shall Be Released, The Band (Bob Dylan)
Charles Manson follower, Susan Atkins, who, less than a month after being turned down by a parole board for her last chance of release from prison on September 2, 2009, was granted the Big Release last night when she died in prison shortly before midnight, September 24, 2009. Complete Notice

9/21/2009 - THE JAY LENO SHOW
Jay Leno is certainly far from perfect, but he is by far the best of the bunch. And the long, grueling summer wait has been rewarded by the return of the pro and the end of late night talk shows floundering in the Horse Latitudes of instantaneous decline and demise. Complete Notice

9/16/2009 - MARY TRAVERS DIES
Mary Travers, of "Peter, Paul, and Mary" fame, died today of Leukemia at the age of seventy-two. Complete Notice

9/16/2009 - BILL HANDEL IS NO MESSIAH
Bill Handel of Los Angeles, California's KFI AM radio station, hosts the 5 to 9 AM show Monday through Friday, returns for the legal advice show on Saturday mornings from 6 to 11 AM that is so god-awful that he disingenuously repeats disclaimers and promotes it as a capricious comedy show, and now has also been called upon to replace the 12 to 2 PM portion of the vacated Dr Laura time slot, also Monday through Friday. Complete Notice

9/16/2009 - RACISM IS EVERYWHERE, OH MY! REPRISE
(See 9/15/2009 - Racism Is Everywhere, Oh My!)
Come on! Of course there's nothing racist about calling a Black man a liar, if he is one. But you are a liar and thoroughly disingenuous for acting like, and arguing that that's the nature of the issue here. Complete Notice

9/15/2009 - RACISM IS EVERYWHERE, OH MY!
Being beyond racism certainly includes the mundane practice of being able to naturally discuss any issue or any person, regardless of their race, in a seamless and consistent manner with any other person, also regardless of their race. Complete Notice

9/14/2009 - PATRICK SWAYZE DIES
Patrick Swayze died today in Los Angeles, California after struggling with pancreatic cancer for almost two years. Complete Notice

Created by David Dees
www.DeesIllustration.Com
9/12/2009 - CELL PHONE RADIATION RATINGS
The Environmental Working Group has completed a study of radiation levels of over 1,200 commonly used cell phones. Complete Notice

9/11/2009 - 9/11 TRIBUTE IN LIGHT
(Updated and reposted from September 11, 2008)
On September 11, 2001, United Airlines flights 11 and 175 struck the North and South Towers of the World Trade Center, American Airlines flight 77 hit the Pentagon, and United Airlines flight 93 was brought down near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, ostensibly headed for the Capital Building. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
Joe Wilson Turkey
9/9/2009 - TURKEY
In President Obama's Health Care Speech to Congress, today, he said "If you misrepresent what's in the plan, we will call you out." Complete Notice

Sarah Capewell and Jayden
9/9/2009 - DEATH PANOPLY
It was revealed today, most likely in an effort to further weaken the Obama Health Care proposals, that in October 2008, doctors at James Paget Hospital in Gorleston, Norfolk, England, left a premature baby to die in her mother's arms because he was born two days earlier than the twenty-two week cutoff age set forth by the British Association of Perinatal Medicine. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/9/2009 - BLACKBOARD JUNGLE
Following an 11% drop in his approval rating, and after days of increasing opposition to President Obama's plan to address the students of America, reaching an inordinately deafening crescendo that could only be grounded in simple racism, including classes and entire schools boycotting the event and detractors calling it everything from political to socialistic to brainwashing, the President, standing before a school chalkboard, finally delivered his speech. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/9/2009 - BOVINE APOCALYPSE
I think I could turn and live with animals, they are
So placid and self-contained,
I stand and look at them long and long.
They do not sweat and whine about their condition,
They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins,
They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God,
Not one is dissatisfied,
Not one is demented with the mania of owning things,
Not one kneels to another,
Nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago,
Not one is respectable or unhappy over the whole earth.
Animals, Walt Whitman
We patronize animals for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err. For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren, they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life, fellow prisoners of the splendor and travail of the earth.
Henry Beston
More than thirty cows slipped, fell, jumped, committed suicide, or sheepishly followed their leader like cattle off a high cliff and into the Fresno River near Coarsegold, California. So much for our famous "contented cows." Complete Notice

9/8/2009 - LITTLE BITCH OF WISDOM
Dr Laura Schlessinger, controversial advice call-in radio host, amid her cacophony of zombie callers who greet her with their "I am my kid's mom" mantra, has suddenly moved from radio station KFI to KFWB in the Los Angeles area. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/5/2009 - A TALE OF TWO CZARS
Note a tale of two Czars (US, not Russian), two Obama appointments, one Black, one White, one named Van Jones and one named John Holdren. Complete Notice

9/4/2009 - DOWN LOW IN AFGHANISTAN
Not a month after I casually examined the connection between war and homosexuality (see 8/10/2009 - Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Release Photographs), another incident of depraved and sleazy male conduct emerges from the bowels of war. Complete Notice

Charley Kline and Leonard Kleinrock
9/2/2009 - INTERNET FORTIETH ANNIVERSARY
In 1958, President Eisenhower established ARPA, the Advanced Research Projects Agency, as part of the US Department of Defense, ostensibly as a response to the Soviet Union's 1957 launch of Sputnik. It would be renamed DARPA in 1972, with the word "Defense" added. In 1993 it would revert to ARPA and in 1996 back to DARPA again. But it would leave behind ARPANET in 1966, soon to become the predecessor of the modern-day Internet. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/26/2009 - PHOTOSHOP EUGENICS
Eugenics, for years the pipe dream of the Masters for thinning-down the species and breeding a master race: the Over-man, Nietzsche's Superman, Aristotle's Great-Souled Man. Of course, it all requires first getting rid of Jews and Gypsies, Blacks and Hispanics, and especially Asians. But not only by race. How about the Muslims? And don't forget the homosexuals, the dissidents, the infirm, and the aged. I may be forgetting who's left, but they certainly won't. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/25/2009 - DEAD KENNEDYS
Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/25/2009 - CONAN - END OF DAYS
I wrote about Conan during his first week at the new job (see 6/8/2009 - Where's Johnny?). Not Conan the Barbarian or Conaniah, the Levite, who gave five-thousand small cattle and five-hundred oxen for a passover offering in 2 Chronicles, 35:9, but Conan O'Brien, previously of Late Night and currently with The Tonight Show. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/24/2009 - JUSTICE FOR ANNIE LEIBOVITZ
Annie Leibovitz, famous for her photographic portraits of the rich and famous (the pregnant Demi Moore, the naked John Lennon lying beside Yoko Ono), and infamous for using unknowing celebrities in their photos to impart more nefarious subliminal messages dictated by the sanctioned publishing entities that she serves, has found herself in serious financial ruin. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/23/2009 - WOMAN KILLED
A woman living the Fairfax district of Los Angeles, California was reported missing last Saturday, August 15, 2009. She was just another blond, loser, Hollywood wannabe with the proverbial breast implants, a sleazy past, and questionable aspirations. Nonetheless, the story immediately garnered an inordinate amount of attention in the media. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/23/2009 - MICROSOFT PIRACY
Just as two-bit terrorists around the world are no match for the true danger of state terrorism perpetrated by the nations which complain the loudest about human conduct and rights, so, too, are scattered software and media traders no match for the corporate, institutional piracy of Microsoft itself. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/22/2009 - OBAMA AS HITLER - VERBOTEN
It is not racist to criticize someone who is of some race unless it is because of their race. What is racist is the preoccupation with protecting perfectly capable people from criticism of any kind because of their race. That misguided effort prevents race from ever becoming just another mundane descriptor. Complete Notice

and were put to death in the days of harvest
2 Samuel 21:9
8/21/2009 - ORGAN HARVEST IN THE HOLY LAND
The only furrows
In the fields of Palestine
Lie over the dead.
Created by George ALEFantes
An article by Donald Bostrom in the Swedish newspaper, Aftonbladet, has called for an investigation into claims that Israeli soldiers are harvesting organs from dead Palestinians. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/17/2009 - JOKERS
Whether you're a 911 Truther, an Obama Birther, protesting the Swine Flu vaccine, protesting the Obama Medical proposals, or merely questioning the Holocaust numbers, your government has recently called you and regards you variously as un-American, a Nazi, a home-grown terrorist, and a threat to American democracy. Complete Notice

8/16/2009 - NOTICES UNUSED AND UNREALIZED
As might be expected, I do not complete all of the Notices that I set out to write. Either I simply do not have the time, they do not rise to the deserving of an entire Notice, or they just became obsolete or mundane shortly after they would have been posted. So, perhaps it is better off or maybe even unconsciously intended. So here is a Notice that encompasses some of the ideas for Notices over the past few months that never materialized. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/15/2009 - MICHAEL VICK RELEASED - EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY
Michael Vick has been released from prison after eighteen months for his vile crimes against canines. I was among his biggest detractors. Complete Notice

8/13/2009 - NATIONAL LEFT-HANDERS DAY
Happy National Left-Handers Day! If you're twenty years old, there's a 12% chance you are left-handed; if you're fifty, the percentage drops to only five; and if you're over eighty, there's only a 1% chance that you are left-handed! Complete Notice

8/10/2009 - DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL, DON'T RELEASE PHOTOGRAPHS
I wrote over and over in the year leading up to the election that, despite the decent demeanor and kinder, more humane approach, Barack Obama would still be business as usual (see 10/10/2008 - Business As Usual), especially in his allegiances to Wall Street and the Globalists, his continuity with Bush in the engineered war on terror, and particularly (with the refreshing exception of Attorney General Eric Holder) in the horrid selection of his cabinet (see 9/29/2008 - Bail Out? Sell Out! and 10/3/2008 - Casting Out the Money Changers), comprised of the highest concentration ever of ex-Treasury, Federal Reserve, and, like Bush, Goldman Sachs personnel. Economist Andy Gause has even called the US Treasury Department just an "outpost for Goldman Sachs." Complete Notice

7/31/2009 - "AND THE TRUTH IS PLAIN TO SEE"
A Whiter Shade of Pale, Procol Harum
The news item began with the somber tune of Procol Harum's A Whiter Shade of Pale. I froze for a moment to be sure not to miss a single word of the pronouncement. Procol Harum and Pink Floyd had been my two all-time favorite groups since their appearance in the late Sixties. And with members certainly now themselves in their late sixties, and after the recent death from cancer of Pink Floyd keyboardist, Rick Wright, I braced for the worst (see 9/15/2008 - Richard Wright Dies). Complete Notice

Join the Linux Crowd
Created by George ALEFantes
7/23/2009 - WINDOWS 7 AND THE SEA PEOPLES
Windows 7, the nervously anticipated OS follow-up to the deplorable failure known as Windows Vista, was released to manufacturing today. Users are desperately optimistic, unwilling to imagine in what position they and their homes and businesses will be should another Microsoft Operating System fail as miserably as before. Microsoft is relying heavily on a much better reception after the Vista debacle which found corporate America downgrading in droves to the previous Windows XP and home users scrambling, even paying an extra $99 to $199, to find systems which still offered the previous Microsoft operating system. Complete Notice

7/22/2009 - GIDGET DIES AT FIFTEEN
Gidget, the Chihuahua famous for the "Yo quiero Taco Bell" ad campaign which began in 1997 and ran amid charges of racism, and was later abruptly cancelled, who also appeared in Reese Witherspoon's Legally Blonde 2, died today of a stroke at the age of fifteen. Complete Notice

Eight-hundred-pound Gorilla In the Room Presents Microphone As Zell Miller Apes the Procedure for Using His Mouth the Only Way He Knows
Created by George ALEFantes
7/18/2009 - ZELL MILLER OPENS HIS MOUTH AGAIN
Turn rocks in the shade and expose strange worms beneath.
The lives of our discontented madmen are revealed.
Jim Morrison
Watermelons on the White House lawn? The President depicted as a bloody monkey shot by police? The White House renamed the Black House?: These but a few from the barrage of deplorable remarks that have already typified the attack on the Obama Presidency, each supposedly being devoid of any intention to impart racism or hateful speech. This week, Zell Miller complained before a pack of Republican "dignitaries" that "Our globe-trotting president needs to stop and take a break and quit gallivanting around," that White House Chief of Staff "Rahm Emanuel needs to put Gorilla Glue on his chair to keep him in the Oval Office." Complete Notice

Photo Courtesy of UPI.Com
7/17/2009 - WALTER CRONKITE DIES
Long-time globalist, Walter Cronkite, dies at the age of ninety-two. Referred to as "the most trusted man in America," he is credited by remaining television newspeople with defining the existing state of television news. Complete Notice

7/5/2009 - "ACCURSED FAUSTUS, WRETCH, WHAT HAST THOU DONE?"
The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus, Christopher Marlowe
If I'm not mistaken, the unnamed home country of Taxi's Latka Gravis was most likely somewhere like Latvia where he claimed it was the custom to vociferously refuse all gifts of money - to ultimately accept the gifts, of course, but not before an array of ritual refusals. Complete Notice

7/4/2009 - HATRED, RACISM, AND THE DEATH OF MICHAEL JACKSON
First and foremost, Goodbye to Michael Jackson. We've come a long way with him, almost all of the half century he lived. And whether you liked him or not, even whether you liked his music or not, with all his ups and downs and controversies, the talk of pedophilia, the questions about paternity, and all the years of hurtful jokes about his color and his many lunacies and proclivities, he was, nevertheless, undeniably iconic and legendary. Complete Notice

7/3/2009 - 2012, THE NEXT ICE AGE?
Despite the complete lack of scientific concurrence, Congress has actually passed legislation based upon an unsubstantiated belief in Global Warming, when some of the most lucid and respected thinkers have confirmed, instead, that we are entering or are already in an Ice Age. Complete Notice

6/8/2009 - WHERE'S JOHNNY?
The television networks have never been known for their artistic decisions. Nor have any of their business decisions ever been praiseworthy by those who concern themselves with their artisitic ones. NBC, though, has made two recent business decisions that have indeed been deserving of praise, further interest, and perhaps even acknowledgement in some future city college business class. Complete Notice

5/24/2009 - PRO SE AND CONS
In a humorous case of irony and poetic justice and in an effort to keep true to form, Jonathan Lee Riches, also known as Irving Picard, has filed a lawsuit in federal court seeking an injunction to prevent the Guinness Book of World Records from identifying him as the most litigious man in the world, the person who has filed the most lawsuits in the history of mankind. Complete Notice

4/13/2009 - A TREE GROWS IN ART'S LUNG
Russian surgeons, expecting to remove a cancerous tumor from a twenty-eight year old's lung, instead found a five-centimeter tall fir tree growing there. Complete Notice

Puma Punku Ruins, Tiahuanaco, Bolivia
4/1/2009 - REVELATION AND APOCALYPSE
If you've been mildly concerned and somewhat nervous about the upcoming end date of the Mayan calendar, 12/21/2012, only 835 days away from today, 9/8/2010, and its prophecized end of the world by solar flare, returning celestial body, or magnetic pole reversal, then you might wish to consider a date that occurs far sooner. Complete Notice

2/27/2009 - THE MAN
Attorney General Eric Holder declared an end to DEA raids on state-sanctioned medical marijuana facilities, a position Obama had supported during the campaign. "What the president said during the campaign, you will be surprised to know, will be consistent with what we will be doing here in law enforcement. What he said during the campaign is now American policy," he said. Complete Notice

Napoleon DyNoMite Bonorat
Created by George ALEFantes
2/25/2009 - "DY-NO-MITE!"
Barack Obama gave his first speech before the Joint Session of Congress today, February 24, 2009 (see ALEF Speeches - Barack Obama - First Speech To Congress). It was truly his best address to date. And that from an ongoing critic of this president, though certainly no more so than of the last, or of Obama's presidential opponent or his Alaskan running mate. Tonight I was indelibly impressed. Complete Notice

Recent Citibank Logo, Annotated for Clarity
2/23/2009 - THE CITIBANK SCAM
After two bailouts totaling $45 Billion, $300 Billion more in guaranteed investments, and a new proposal that will result in the Federal Government owning as much as 40% of the shares of Citigroup common stock, We learned today that Citibank, one of America's three largest banks, alongside Bank of America and J P Morgan Chase, was itself taken in by the infamous Nigerian Scam that has circulated on the Web for years and has surprisingly separated many fools from their money. Complete Notice

2/21/2009 - "CALL TO ASSASSINATE"
The NAACP has called for a boycott of the New York Post and declared that their despicable cartoon is no less than "a call to assassinate" President Barack Obama (see 2/20/2009 - Ace of Spades). Complete Notice

Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again,
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die,
The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be,
The Ace of Spades, the Ace of Spades.
"Ace of Spades" by Motorhead
2/20/2009 - ACE OF SPADES
Attorney General Eric Holder, likely to be Obama's most valuable appointment, stirred up the racists in America when he said that "Though the nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards." Complete Notice

Centaurs' Feast
Created by George ALEFantes
2/15/2009 - "MORE STERN AND BLOODY THAN THE CENTAURS' FEAST"
Titus Andronicus
There is a new form of justice resurfacing in America, certainly not new to history, even America's own, wherein admittedly despicable people are instantly dealt with and dispatched, not through the legal system, but through media collaborators and the casual stirring up of their devoted throngs; much faster than the normal speed of jurisprudence and often in situations where that normal jurisprudence may even be unable to get the job done. Complete Notice

Benny and Bele
Created by George ALEFantes
2/11/2009 - BENNY AND BELE
Benny Lava, the very best India has to offer, joins Star Trek's Bele in the coveted position of official mascot for the ALEF.Net Website. Complete Notice

2/5/2009 - SKEETER
Retired Microsoft founder, Bill Gates, opened a jar and let a swarm of supposedly malaria-infected mosquitoes loose during a speech at a California technology conference like he was demonstrating the newest version of Windows, and with the finesse of Michael on NBC's "The Office." EBay founder and many other computer industry luminaries were aghast. The curator of the show even joked that Gates was just releasing more bugs into the world. But humor aside, it was a morbid version of that wedding I attended where everyone opened envelopes and butterflies flew out (except for the ones that died in the envelopes). Complete Notice

1/30/2009 - KANGAROO COURT
Created by George ALEFantes
Though other Illinois governors have been or are still in prison, Rod Blagojevich, after a whirlwind bout with "justice," was the first to be convicted during his impeachment and by a unanimous vote of the state Senate. Complete Notice

1/29/2009 - "I SING THE BODY ELECTRONIC"
President Obama's $819 billion stimulus package passed in the House of Representatives today by a vote of 244 to 188. Not a single Republican voted in favor of it, nor did eleven Democrats. It is expected to reach a trillion dollars by the time it comes up before the Senate next week. Complete Notice

1/28/2009 - IXQUICKENING
IxQuick, the meta-search engine developed in 1998 in New York and the Netherlands and purchased by a Dutch company in 2000, gained attention in 2006 by promising to delete all traces of private and personal information after forty-eight hours. Complete Notice

1/23/2009 - RAINS OF THE GODS
Heavy rains in Peru's Altiplano, or high desert, have caused damage to a number of the Nazca Lines. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
1/20/2009 - HELLO, GOODBYE
"I say high, you say low;
You say why, and I say I don't know."
Hello, Goodbye, Beatles
Barack Obama will be sworn in today as the forty-fourth president of the United States. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
1/19/2009 - ZOMBIE NATION
"I promise to do my duty in love and loyalty to the Fuhrer and our flag"
Nazi Pledge of Allegiance
Rock stars performing in Washington DC, who in their youths were nothing if not independent and rebellious free spirits, spent the day before the Barack Obama inauguration in fawning adoration, outdoing each other's comparisons of Obama to Lincoln and FDR, despite the fact that Obama has yet to spend a single day as president. Complete Notice

1/7/2009 - JAMES R NORMAN ON "COAST TO COAST AM"
James R Norman discussed his book, The Oil Card, on "Coast to Coast AM" Tuesday evening, January 6, 2009, and had some interesting and realistic perspectives on a number of subjects that usually generate a wide range of stressful theories and urban legends. Complete Notice

1/6/2009 - SPARE THE ROD, SPOIL THE CHILD
Roland Burris, Illinois Senate appointee of illustrious Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, was prevented from being sworn-in on Capitol Hill. Senate majority leader, Harry Reid, himself accused of trying to influence the governor's appointment and on record for hissing "I don't work for Barack Obama," rejected his certificate of appointment and would not seat Burris because of the ongoing agenda against Blagojevich, who had been arrested for supposedly "trying to sell president-elect Barack Obama's former US senate seat to the highest bidder." Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
1/4/2009 - BILL RICHARDSON QUITS
New Mexico governor, Bill Richardson, Barack Obama's selection for secrectary of commerce has withdrawn from further consideration due to a federal investigation in progress. Complete Notice

12/28/2008 - 60% OF THE SPECIES HAS A CELL PHONE
3G Americas, the trade association that represents GSM devices, has announced that, as of December 2008, more than four billion cell phones are currently in use, approximately 60% of the world population. Complete Notice

12/23/2008 - "COAST TO COAST AM?" BS?
Ian Punnett, the intellectual elitist of the "Coast to Coast AM" radio hosts, whose need to be right when he is right, even when other hosts might be more gracious and diplomatic, has gotten him into more than his share of controversies lately, with guest Maurice Cotterell walking off the show, Steven Quayle engaging in his petty power struggle, and of course, the Jesus Christ impersonator (see ALEF People - Radio), took a sudden turn during Saturday evening's interview with Guy Kawasaki, ostensibly there to discuss the history of the Mac, but distracted often by discussions of Minnesota, the cold weather, seminary school, playing ice hockey, and a lot of other far too casual tangents, when the subject of Kawasaki's Rumor Tracking Website came up. Complete Notice

12/15/2008 - A FACE FOR A FACE
Throwing acid is wrong ... in some people's eyes.
Today in Iran, a man was convicted of throwing acid in a woman's face. In the tradition of the great Hammurabi, first to record codes of law 3,800 years ago, and for every unsung eye and tooth that has never been avenged, his punishment will consist of having acid thrown in his own face. Complete Notice

12/14/2008 - NOT YOUR SHOE SIZE
As Johnny Cochran and the O J Simpson trial did for the Columbian necktie, the Bush Junior administration has made household names out of waterboarding and shoe bombs. Yet where were the secret service as an Iraqi journalist let first one, then the other shoe fly? Complete Notice

12/13/2008 - FIRE AND BRIMSTONE
Sarah Palin's Pentecostal Wasilla Bible Church was consumed in fire this morning. None of the 1,000 parishoners were hurt by what began at the front door, raged in twenty-below-zero temperature, and caused over $1 million in damages. Complete Notice

12/12/2008 - GEORGIA GUIDESTONES ANNOTATED
The ominous Georgia Guidestones, monument to the amorphous New World Order and their pipe dream of reducing the global population by ninety percent, have received a surprise makeover, having been fully annotated using a 666-point, red grafitti font by urban artists whose worldly awareness has apparently outpaced their language skills (see the complete set of images and see the Georgia Guidestones article). Complete Notice

12/5/2008 - NOW, THAT'S ARCHAEOLOGY!
Archaeologists are testing the THC content of almost two pounds of 2,700-year-old, high-quality marijuana "buds" found in a shaman's burial site in western China. Most likely a member of the Indo-European-speaking Yuezhi whose Caucasian mummies continue to be discovered in Xinjiang province. Though an equivalent amount would be worth over $10,000, you can be sure that the bidding on this one-of-a-kind discovery would be akin to the multi-million dollar truffle auctions and the amounts paid by elites who gather secretly to dine on endangered species. Complete Notice

12/4/2008 - "DIAMONDS AND RUST"
Mike Diamond, definitely not to be mistaken for Michael Diamond, Mike D of Beastie Boys fame, is the plumber who produces the worst commercials on the radio, delivered by a guy who calls himself "Mike Diamond's buddy, Fred." Complete Notice

12/3/2008 - SCORCHED EARTH
Catherine Austin Fitts said on Coast to Coast AM tonight that "When you see stocks go up and down 400 points each day, you know you're watching an economic warfare battleground and you're not watching a market." Complete Notice

Alex Jones Modeling the George ALEFantes Nostrilensus Line of Nostril-mounted Eyewear
12/1/2008 - LOVE JONES
Though Beverly D'Angelo is indisputably the superior choice in "Vacation," she nevertheless plays the role of the neglected wife while Christie Brinkley "plays" the beautiful free spirit in the red Ferrari. "Do you like that girl, Clark?" To which Chevy Chase responds in his best land shark, jaw-jacking BS, "How could I ever like a girl like that? She's ugly. I love you." Complete Notice

11/25/2008 - MONROE WHAT?
Russian warships, including the Peter the Great, the largest ship in the Russian fleet, arrived in Venezuela today for the first time since the Cold War in a show of strength aimed at the United States. Complete Notice

11/24/2008 - WELL-FED FOXES IN THE HOUSE
Add this one to your worries about the Amero, the New World Order, eugenics programs, and mass depopulation plans. Complete Notice

11/14/2008 - SARAH PALIN SPEAKS AGAIN
During her chat with Greta Van Susteren on Fox News while preparing dinner at her home in Alaska, Sarah Palin said, "I consider myself to be a feminist, whatever that means." Complete Notice

11/12/2008 - SARAH PALIN SPEAKS
"And that's cruel and it's mean-spirited, it's immature, it's unprofessional, and those guys are jerks, if they came away with it taking things out of context and then tried to spread something on national news. It is not fair and not right." Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
11/11/2008 - MICROSOFT'S NIGERIAN SCAM
No matter how much they spend on Vista ads that feature them deceiving panels of customers into thinking Vista is really their next operating system, Microsoft will never get any better if they just keep getting worse. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
11/4/2008 - PRESIDENT OBAMA!
Like Hercules, Barack Obama has single-handedly beheaded the ugly hydra and sent her back to her frozen wasteland with her beauty pageant runner-up status thoroughly intact. Perhaps he'll graciously offer some kind of post-retirement position to John McCain. Poor guy got a bad deal. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
10/30/2008 - CITIZEN OBAMA, MCCITIZEN CAIN
While charges of being a socialist, a terrorist, and worse, a Muslim, and accusations of unhealthy associations with Reverend Wright, Bill Ayers, and Tony Resko have all just slid off his smooth exterior, the bizarre rumors that Barack Obama was not actually born in the United States refuse to go away. Complete Notice

10/29/2008 - EPITAPH ON THE SARAH PALIN SAGA
If they had really just wanted to parade mesmerizing beauty before our eyes, as we have since learned from correspondences between McCain handlers, why didn't they put a bunch of Gangster Rap, bikini-clad hand car wash ladies on the stage, instead of that annoying, cross-eyed, late middle-aged, also-ran beauty pageant runner-up, vile, vitriolic, and caustic un-Christian Pentecostal fornicator, pseudo-folksy, phony family person, anti-Black, anti-woman, anti-Semite, anti-animal, anti-gay, lynch mob mamma. That woman. That one. Sarah Palin. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
10/28/2008 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR BILL
Not only did Bill Gates turn fifty-three today, but he also appeared before Congress complaining that if his company could not hire more "foreign" workers in the United States, it would have to move parts of its operations to other countries. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
10/27/2008 - COLINOSCOPY
"COL-IN-'OS-CO-PY (ka-li-'nos-ke-pe) noun
1. A sober and insightful analysis by Colin Powell.
2. A medical or political procedure performed on John McCain by Barack Obama in 2008."
Certainly he said he was insurmountably disappointed with McCain's choice of Sarah Palin and believed she was utterly incapable of serving as president. But Colin Powell also said he was disturbed about repeated accusations that Obama was a Muslim; but even more so about the inherent implication that to be a Muslim in America must therefore be a bad thing. "Why should it be considered wrong for a Muslim child in America to wish to be the president?" He asked rhetorically. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
10/26/2008 - THE MAHER'S TALE
"And the truth is plain to see.
And so it was that later,
As the miller told his tale."
"A Whiter Shade of Pale," by Procol Harum
Bill Maher is making the talk show circuit for his new movie. Though, like Dennis Miller, Terry Bradshaw, Dane Cook, and other standbys, he is better known as one of those talk show regulars who appear more often when they've got nothing going on. I have, of course, had to find other things to watch. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
10/16/2008 - UK NEWS
"Then Pharaoh called for Moses and Aaron, and said, entreat the Lord, that he may take away the frogs from me, and from my people; and I will let the people go, that they may do sacrifice unto the Lord."
Exodus 8:8
"And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet."
Revelation 16:13
This week, Ireland's Westmeath Independent reported that it rained frogs over South Roscommon in Athlone: Complete Notice

10/15/2008 - PIMPIN' PALIN
Though it seems like it was another time, it was during this same election's primaries that Hillary Clinton was accused by David Shuster of "pimping" her adult daughter, Chelsea, because she had her soliciting votes from super delegates. Complete Notice

Sarah Palin's New Hairdo
Created by George ALEFantes
10/11/2008 - "DING DONG," THE WITCH, IS DEAD
Now that it has become brutally clear that Sarah Palin will not step down, John McCain has conceded the election, and Barack Obama will be the next president, Sarah Palin says she has "taken the gloves off" and, my God, what ghastly ugly hands she has! And she's sporting a new hairdo and a desperately exaggerated new persona to go along with it. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
10/10/2008 - BUSINESS AS USUAL
Warren Buffet has passed Microsoft's Bill Gates as the richest person in America, $58 to $55 billion. Since Ronald Reagan, movie stars, athletes, and popular orators have been increasingly employed to serve as front people for the interests of the ruling class and other unseen, amorphous elements that sit around the table and control the stage. Complete Notice

10/6/2008 - "LISTEN TO THE PREACHER MAN"
"When I Get to Heaven," Ice Cube
Black parishioners today in many churches across the country have expressed confusion and dismay over the onslaught against Gay marriage that they are suddenly experiencing from their own preachers. Many Black preachers have been asking their parishioners specifically to vote against upcoming Gay marriage ballot propositions. Aghast, many of their parishioners feel that the decision on who to marry is a civil rights matter and, as such, would be hypocritical to oppose, considering what they and their ancestors have suffered, endured, and had to overcome. Complete Notice

10/4/2008 - OSAMA J SIMPSON
Yeah, like most of us, I figured he must have done it. But, since I didn't sit through the minutes of the trial like a juror, I was in no position to take an absolute stance on my position. And, besides, I was never impressed with, interested in, nor had much respect for him or his wife. Even more so as the details of their lives unfolded. That certainly didn't mean she deserved to be murdered or he deserved to go free. But it did preclude my showing much interest in the circus they called the case. Complete Notice

"Casting Out the Money Changers," Carl Heinrich Bloch
"And Jesus went into the temple and began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money changers."
Mark 11:15
10/3/2008 - CASTING OUT THE MONEY CHANGERS
As you know by now, the infamous $700 billion bail-out bill which was voted down in the House of Representatives on Monday was modestly revised and increased by another $150 billion, passed the Senate, passed the House the second time around, and was signed into law by the president all by Friday of the same week: The largest transfer of wealth from the many to the few in history, all without oversight, hearings, or expert witnesses. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
10/2/2008 - THE PALIN DEBATE?
First, let's get one thing straight: These are not debates, but are, at best, polite interviews. Joseph Biden took advice from his misogynist handlers about his precarious position with Sarah Palin: Act in his normal brash and aggressive manner and it will appear as if he is bullying a woman. Hold off, and he would be pandering. Too bad he couldn't just treat her like a regular person without regard for gender. But that's how surgically scripted their performances are, how little they regard our sensibilities, and, frankly, how Sarah Palin and her people have successfully manipulated the scenery. Complete Notice

9/30/2008 - ALEF BELE
Officials at ALEF.Net announce the success of the Bele experiment and thereby declare Bele hereafter as eternal mascot and virtual representative of the ALEF.Net Website along with Thoth and the Ibis and Ox graphic representations formed by reorienting the letters of the name, ALEF in the ALEF.Net logo. Complete Notice

9/29/2008 - SHOFAR, SO GOOD
"In the seventh month, on the first of the month, there shall be a Sabbath for you, a remembrance with shofar blasts, a holy convocation."
Leviticus 16:24
Happy Rosh Hashanah!
Translated as "head of the year" and known sometimes as the Jewish New Year, though there are actually four different New Year observances and, other than a parallel with "New Year's resolutions," it shares little with the celebratory demeanor of the American New Year's holiday, Rosh Hashanah commemorates the creation of man and is characterized by the blowing of the shofar, the ram's horn trumpet. This will be year 5769 according to the Jewish calendar. Complete Notice

9/29/2008 - SARAH PALIN, GO HOME!
Since McCain first stood beside and announced her, I have vociferously been suggesting that Sarah Palin resign and save us all further agony, embarrassment, and disdain. It seems her own party has finally gotten past the talking points and staged euphoria of the Republican convention and has realized just how detrimental to their ticket she really is. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/29/2008 - BAIL OUT? SELL OUT!
As a result of the failure to pass the $700 billion Wall Street bail out bill, Dow Jones experienced the biggest one-day point drop in history. It was immediately added to the arsenal of scare tactics frantically being used to get the bail out bill to pass. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/26/2008 - MASTER DEBATERS?
Master Debaters? Not really. Neither were John McCain and Barack Obama masters nor was that really a debate. Rather it was quite lackluster and dull considering the simultaneous apocalyptic economic collapse that served as the backdrop, the largest bank failure in history, and the Fed's seizure of Washington Mutual. And, considering the stakes that are supposedly involved, neither really seemed too concerned. And both were thoroughly detached from the drama that led up to the first debate: McCain's pouting and suspending both his campaign and the debate itself due to the "economic crisis," and Obama's retort that as presidential candidates they should both be able to handle more than one thing at a time. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/25/2008 - JOSEPH PETCKA IS A PIECE OF CRAP
This is Joseph Petcka, piece of crap and cat murderer. You may have heard of the New York City legal case in the news because you certainly wouldn't have any other way of knowing who Joseph Petcka was. He had a very short stint with a minor league Mets team and has had an equally short "career" as a two-bit, no-name, out-of-work actor. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/19/2008 - WUSSILLA
"Uh, what about the husband?
You know he's doing those daughters.
I mean, come on, it's Alaska."
From SNL, 9/20/2008
When she was the Governor of Alaska and resident of Wasilla, their "Meth" capital, Sarah Palin promised she would cooperate with the independent investigation into the firing of Department of Public Safety Commissioner, Walt Monegan, for refusing to fire her state trooper brother-in-law. Now she has made it clear that she will actually not cooperate. Complete Notice

9/18/2008 - NAZI POPE
Joseph Alois Ratzinger, later the Cardinal (not the one played by Michael Palin), who now goes by the alias, the Pope, and Pope Benedict the Sixteenth, incidentally the 265th Pope, is seen here as a member of Nazi Germany's "Hitler Youth." Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/17/2008 - GOLDEN BOY
Michael Phelps, the swimmer who won eight gold medals in the 2008 Beijing Olympics to surpass the thirty-year-old seven gold medal record held by Mark Spitz, has been variously criticized as being a dorky, oafish, goonish, and stupid Bigfoot-looking Neanderthal (mostly, admittedly, in articles on this Site). Now, thanks to Sports Illustrated, we have an entirely new association. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/16/2008 - SUB-PRIME PRIMATES
Like father, like son. Only, this father-son pair of primates, Jack Hanna (standing) and Jarod Miller (hanging), happen not to have the same last name. You may be quite surprised to learn that, even though everything else about them is identical, they are not really even father and son. In fact, they are not even related, even though they both demonstrate the very same failures and inadequacies in their callings. Not only are these two losers the furthest things from animal experts but they should, frankly, not even be allowed to approach, and certainly not touch, animals of any kind. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
And you run, and you run
To catch up with the sun,
But it's sinking,
Racing around to come up behind you again.
Time, Pink Floyd
9/15/2008 - RICHARD WRIGHT DIES
Keyboardist Richard Wright, founding member of Pink Floyd with Roger Waters, Nick Mason, and Syd Barrett, died today at the age of sixty-five at his home in Britain from an undisclosed form of cancer. Complete Notice

9/14/2008 - BLU-RAY AND THE MAYAN APOCALYPSE
It may not actually signal the end of the world, but Sony's Blu-ray technology is ultimately doomed to fail, according to the article "Blu-ray Will Be Dead by 2012" by Rob Mead from TechRadar.Com. He cites public indifference, technical problems, laughable features, and downloadable movies as some of the foreseeable causes. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/13/2008 - FAILIN' PALIN
"Saturday Night Live" has maintained a reputation for over thirty years of booking hosts and bands and parodying both the famous and infamous who populate our culture at any given time: Sarah Palin and Michael Phelps being no exceptions. Complete Notice

9/12/2008 - FIFTIETH ANNIVERSARY OF THE INTEGRATED CIRCUIT
The Integrated Circuit, also known as the chip or microchip, is a miniaturized electronic circuit consisting of semiconductor devices and passive components, including transistors and resistors, that has been manufactured in the surface of a thin substrate of semiconductor material, usually silicon. They are the building blocks of today's microprocessors. Complete Notice

9/12/2008 - WASILLA FAMILY VALUES
Sarah Palin's child, no, not the one with Down syndrome, and not the pregnant seventeen-year-old who was supposed to have given birth to it, and certainly not the other daughter who in all her silence was said by some to have actually been the mother; but the son, you know the one who joined the Army and is quickly being whisked away to Iraq, now that Bush has begun talking about limited troop withdrawals. Complete Notice

9/11/2008 - 9/11 TRIBUTE IN LIGHT
On September 11, 2001, United Airlines flights 11 and 175 struck the North and South Towers of the World Trade Center, American Airlines flight 77 hit the Pentagon, and United Airlines flight 93 was brought down near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, ostensibly headed for the Capital Building. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/11/2008 - PIGS AND PIT BULLS
Apparently the Republicans have finally become sensitive enough to understand the pain and frustration of regularly being subjected to sexist rhetoric and attitudes. Or at least they think they have found a political advantage in complaining about it. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
9/11/2008 - SARAH PALIN IS A MONSTER!
I have been a vocal and equal critic of both Hillary Clinton (see ALEF People - Disgraced People) and Barack Obama (see ALEF People - Obama Watch and 9/7/2008 - "My Muslim Faith") from the beginning of the Democratic primaries, of Joseph Robinette Biden for many years and certainly for as long as he has been the vice presidential nominee (see 8/28/2008 - Obama Bin Biden, 8/27/2008 - Pleasant Plagiarism, 8/27/2008 - Biden's Abyss, and 8/23/2008 - Vice President Selected), and of John McCain since the Jurassic period (is that not that the acceptable and allowable John McCain joke) (see 9/8/2008 - McCain the Slaveowner). Now, Sarah Palin is no exception, and she is surely by far more worthy of scathing criticism and reciprocal ridicule than all of the others combined. But don't mistake my criticism of Palin with support of any other candidate, though, frankly, no one has done more to make Obama seem messianic. Complete Notice

9/10/2008 - CONCERNED ABOUT CERN?
If you've been concerned about CERN, then you already know that their Large Hadron Collider goes on line on 9/10/2008. If you're not familiar, there are many who believe you should be. Complete Notice

9/8/2008 - MCCAIN THE SLAVEOWNER
"Everybody knows the deal is rotten,
Old Black Joe's still picking cotton
For your ribbons and bows."
"Everybody Knows," by Leonard Cohen
Reporters from Salon.Com presented John McCain with documents gathered from the Carroll County Courthouse, the Carrollton Merrill Museum, the Mississippi State Archives, and the Greenwood, Mississippi Public Library that demonstrated that John McCain ancestor, William Alexander McCain, had owned fifty-two slaves on his Mississippi plantation. Complete Notice

The Gods Must Be Crazy
Created by George ALEFantes
9/7/2008 - "MY MUSLIM FAITH"
Today, Barack Obama misspoke on George Stephanopoulos' ABC show, "This Week" while outlining his Christianity, and referred to "my Muslim faith." Complete Notice

9/6/2008 - ROGER WATERS TURNS 65
Roger Waters, iconic founder of the progressive rock band, Pink Floyd, turned sixty-five today. Long held to be the sole power behind the group's creative genius, he fought diligently to retire the name after the group disbanded in 1983, following their wildly popular "The Wall" and less acclaimed but superior finale, "The Final Cut." Complete Notice

9/2/2008 - GOOGLE'S TARNISHED CHROME
Google has finally released its Chrome Internet browser, but to mixed reactions. Most noticeable were some of the draconian terms of its End User License Agreement (EULA). For example: Complete Notice

9/1/2008 - JOSH BERNSTEIN'S BACK
We were disappointed when Josh Bernstein, survival instructor turned amateur archaeologist, left the History Channel's popular but short-lived "Digging for the Truth" last year. Well he's back, this time on the Discovery Channel with his new show, "Into the Unknown," and he finally deserves to be taken more seriously. Though he has lost the Indiana Jones hat and the shoulder bag, the show retains its same general format and his own personal flavor and trademark style. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/29/2008 - ANGELA MERKEL? TINA FEY? SARAH PALIN.
High Five! McCain picks his running mate! With the heart of an Angela Merkel and the looks of Tina Fey, it's Sarah Palin, the novice Alaskan politician with but two years of experience under her sash. Complete Notice

8/28/2008 - OBAMA BIN BIDEN
The Democrats officially have their ticket, Barack Obama and Joseph Robinette Biden, and everyone's finally on board from Bill and Hillary Clinton to Al Gore, Ted Kennedy, and Jimmy Carter. Complete Notice

8/27/2008 - PLEASANT PLAGIARISM
Jill Biden, PhD English professor at Delaware Technical Community College and wife of Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr (Senator Joe Biden), wrote the best speech of his political career. In fact, she even had him say that she was "the only one who leaves me breathless and speechless at the same time." Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/27/2008 - BIDEN'S ABYSS
If it were true what Joseph Robinette Biden said in his 2008 vice presidential nomination acceptance speech, that a person's success can be measured by the quality of his or her children, family, and spouse, then Joseph Robinette Biden could proudly count himself among the most successful. He also said that the economic progress during the Bush years was "abysmal." And that is certainly true; but his own record over the years has shamefully been no less abysmal. Complete Notice

8/25/2008 - TIVO COPY PROTECTION
Though it has been possible for some time and has been used on many occasions, recent incidents have brought back into the spotlight the ability of broadcasters to assign flags to selected television shows that make some unrecordable while automatically deleting others at designated dates and times. Complete Notice

LeBron James, Teddy Roosevelt, and Kobe Bryant
Created by George ALEFantes
8/24/2008 - "REMEMBER THE MAINE - TO HELL WITH SPAIN!"
It's like 1898 all over again! When was the last time Spaniards dared to exert their feeble authority in our familiar waters? Was it the Spanish-American War when, after ongoing Spanish atrocities and genocides against the subjugated Cuban people and the subsequent sinking of the USS Maine, we declared war on Spain and incidentally relieved them of their last possessions in the area including Cuba, Guam, the Philippines, and Puerto Rico? We made short work of it and sent them home with their tails between their legs and suing for peace in just 109 days. Or was it minutes? Complete Notice

8/23/2008 - VICE PRESIDENT SELECTED
Now that Barack Obama has picked Joseph Robinette Biden as his running mate, all the pundits, talking heads, and "spokesholes" are belaboring over the minutia of the curious differences between the two: That Biden voted for the War in Iraq, that he's hardly a fresh face in Washington, having been in Congress longer than McCain, and that he will unlikely provide any additional credibility to Obama's empty promises of change. Complete Notice

Created by George ALEFantes
8/19/2008 - SHAWN JOHNSON GOLD
With humility and graciousness, sixteen year old Shawn Johnson finally won her gold medal - and in the final women's gymnastics event of the 2008 Beijing Olympics - after having shown more emotion for and having given more attention to the successes and failures of her teammates. Complete Notice

8/17/2008 - VENUS AND SERENA WILLIAMS WIN GOLD IN 2008 BEIJING OLYMPICS DOUBLES TENNIS
We are proud that our legendary sister tennis champions from Compton, California, Venus and Serena Williams, have won the gold medal for doubles tennis at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Their victory was all the more sweet since their doomed opponents were an unfortunate pair of players from Spain. A couple of Spaniards who should have been thankful just to have appeared in the Olympics considering all the buzz and questions swarming around about Spain's right to be included among the civilized nations of the world (see 6/27/2008 - Spain Extends Human Rights to Apes and Other Primates). Complete Notice

8/15/2008 - WHITE AND BLACK POPES
Pope Benedict the Sixteenth, also known as the White Pope, seated in a rare moment answering to a higher power, the Superior General of the International Military Order of the Society of Jesus, also known as the Jesuits, Peter Hans Kolvenbach, also known as the Black Pope (not to be confused with notorious Satanist and intelligence agent, Anton LaVey, also referred to as the Black Pope). Complete Notice

8/13/2008 - FRANCISCO FRANCO IS STILL DEAD AND SPAIN IS STILL RACIST
Spain continues to impress the basest instincts in human history and in the world community. We learned today that players for both the Spanish men's and women's Olympic basketball teams posed together for newspaper ads in the best dailies that Spain has to offer stretching back the skin on both sides of their eyes like little kids caricaturing Asian people in deference to and respect for their Chinese hosts at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Complete Notice

8/6/2008 - IPHONE EMPLOYS HIDDEN REMOTE DEACTIVATION FEATURE
Jonathan Zdziarski, author of "iPhone Forensics," has revealed a remote URL, https://iphone-services.apple.com/clbl/unauthorizedApps, that Apple is using to keep a list of offending iPhone applications. According to Zdziarski, the URL appears to maintain a list of blacklisted applications: "This suggests that the iPhone calls home once in a while to find out what applications it should turn off. At the moment, no apps have been blacklisted, but by all appearances, this has been added to disable applications that the user has already downloaded and paid for, if Apple so chooses to shut them down. I discovered this doing a forensic examination of an iPhone 3G. It appears to be tucked away in a configuration file deep inside CoreLocation." Complete Notice

7/28/2008 - ED FOSTER DIES
Tonight I received word that Ed Foster died. He was just fifty-nine. He was a cool and down-to-earth guy whose column in InfoWorld Magazine I used to look forward to reading each week, as far back as the late Eighties; I usually turned to the last page and began my reading there. Complete Notice

7/28/2008 - CUIL - COOL!
There's a new search engine on the block, Cuil.Com, pronounced "cool." Co-founded by ex-Google employee Anna Patterson, it purports to control a much larger database of Internet pages than industry leader, Google, with 120 billion pages indexed compared to Google's 40 billion, out of an estimated 140 billion total pages on the Internet. Complete Notice

From Current.Com
7/25/2008 - PRESIDENT BUSH EATS KITTENS!
In a show of strength equivalent to the power of a lame duck president and commensurate with the momentum of his own memorable presidential bid, Dennis Kucinich has been granted permission to hold a session to present his case for the impeachment of President George Bush, though Nancy Pelosi and John Conyers have made it clear that there will otherwise be no formal hearings. Complete Notice

Mayor Beleraigosa
Created by George ALEFantes
7/20/2008 - LOS ANGELES MAYOR ANTONIO VILLARAIGOSA AND FRANK GORSHIN AS BELE
Today, Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and Frank Gorshin as Bele in Star Trek. Complete Notice

7/19/2008 - ART BELL ABDUCTED INTO THE NATIONAL RADIO HALL OF FAME
The king of paranormal, was inducted into the National Radio Hall of Fame for his many years of work in radio culminating in the long-running, wildly popular "Coast to Coast AM" overnight radio show. Complete Notice

Reichstag Towers
Created by George ALEFantes
7/17/2008 - COMMEMORATING 75 YEARS OF THE REICHSTAG FIRE - 1933 - 2008
On February 27, 1933, the site of the German Parliament, the Reichstag building, was set on fire. Adolph Hitler, sworn in as Chancellor of Germany just weeks before on January 30, urged President Hindenburg to pass an emergency decree against the supposed "evildoers," the Communist Party of Germany. Complete Notice

Jesuits, Black Pope (Center!), and Bele
Created by George ALEFantes
7/15/2008 - REARING ITS UGLY HEAD AGAIN
Here we go again. Schoolyard racist rhetoric and epithets at their finest. But not directed at some confused and unfortunate student, directed instead at the Democratic presidential candidate. Once again, Barack Obama is the recipient of ugly racist sentiment. And not by some ignorant, unschooled playground menace or beer-drinking redneck sitting before his first flat screen TV. No, This time it was John McLaughlin of the publicly sponsored PBS show, the McLaughlin Group, who casually asked his guest: Complete Notice

The Gods Must Be Crazy
Created by George ALEFantes
7/14/2008 - BARACK AND MICHELLE OBAMA ON THE COVER OF NEW YORKER MAGAZINE
We did not reproduce an image of the actual cover. We did not want to give the slightest impression, even to those among us who are least able to understand "satire," that this Website is racist, sexist, anti-Islamic, anti-American, or just downright insensitive and evil. For that is what the New Yorker, out of Election Day desperation by those who pull their strings, was willing to let be revealed about their agenda and intentions. And "satire" was the feeble excuse they had devised in advance to deal with the current, anticipated tumult. Complete Notice

7/14/2008 - JESSE JACKSON ALSO USED THE "N" WORD
We learn two days later that, in addition to his staged diatribe against Barack Obama (see 7/12/2008 - Jesse Jackson Says He Wants to Cut-off Obama's "Nuts"), the very reverend Reverend Jesse Jackson also used the "N" word to refer to those Black people to whom he says Obama talks down regarding issues of faith. That's certainly calling the kettle the "N" word! Jackson, who personally went to the Laugh Factory after the Michael Richards spectacle and vociferously advocated the $50 fine for each use of the "N" word by comedians in their acts, owes at least $50 to someone, and he ain't no comedian. Complete Notice

Obama Jackson King
Created by George ALEFantes
7/12/2008 - JESSE JACKSON SAYS HE WANTS TO CUT-OFF OBAMA'S "NUTS"
Hey wait a minute! Was that a staged event, or what? You, the mic, then your son's caustic words, probably carefully crafted around your kitchen table? What's up with that, Jesse? You never were much of an actor, whether explaining your long-term LA sleepover lover or your role on that fateful balcony. Like most other "microphone malfunctions" of the past, George Bush with Tony Blair, Ronald Reagan's joke about bombing the Soviet Union, they are usually awkwardly scripted monologs "told by an idiot" and "poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage." Complete Notice

Created by Engrish.Com, submitted by John Kiapos
(See Language - Signs and Language - Storefronts in the ALEF Images Gallery)
7/11/2008 - CHINA BANS THE SALE OF DOG MEAT DURING THE OLYMPICS
In a move that demonstrates China's desire to be warmly accepted for what it is by the global community during next month's Olympic Games, it has temporarily banned the sale of dog meat in markets and restaurants. It claims it has more to do with not wishing to offend the people of the visiting nations, but it appears to be more of a national fraud and attempt to win our love by false impressions. Just stop eating dogs. That would be a good start toward impressing the rest of the world. Complete Notice

7/11/2008 - APPLE RELEASES IPHONE 2.0
The second iteration of Apple's much-coveted iPhone was released today. It adds 3G and GPS functionality based on the location of the phone rather than the nearest cell tower, it fixes a series of oversights like the overly-recessed 3.5mm headphone jack, is slimmer, and now costs only $199 for the 8MB model rather than the $599 price of the original offering. A 16GB version is coming soon. Complete Notice

7/4/2008 - BALLOON MAN TAKES FLIGHT AGAIN
Certainly not the Balloon Man of E E Cummings fame, fifty-four-year-old Oregon gas station owner Kent Couch takes flight for the third time in three years, carried away by a bunch of pretty five-foot balloons. Equipped with two GPS devices and a satellite phone for direction, a BB Gun and blow gun for altitude control, and ample food and drink, he maintained a 200-foot elevation for most of his journey. When he finally landed in a town 200 miles away, he handed-out the remaining balloons to the innocent children ... just like in that E E Cummings poem! Complete Notice

Larry Harmon Bozo the Clown
Created by George ALEFantes
7/3/2008 - LARRY HARMON DIES
Larry Harmon died of heart failure today at eighty-three at his home in Los Angeles, California. He was the man most associated with Bozo the Clown, though he was not the original and certainly not one of the many who played him after either. Complete Notice

Madonna Cougar
Created by George ALEFantes
7/1/2008 - MADONNA
We don't really care that she strives to be the quintessential Global Tramp or laments being but a Whore of Babylon wannabe. Nor does it matter to us that, at an earlier time, she would have fallen to her knees before the crowd and been stoned for her defilements or been dunked for her crafted recklessness. We don't mind that she breaks up marriages that could not have been so sacred and pristine to begin with, or that she openly and gleefully cavorts with men whose pregnant wives sit home and flounder. They can all consume themselves in rites of fire for all we care. We don't even hold her electronic Minnie Mouse singing voice against her or her god-awful, less-than-soap opera acting abilities, though we always wondered how all her wealth could never have bought her even the most basic improvement over the years. And we can even claim to have enjoyed her "La Isla Bonita" and her song "Live to Tell" from the movie "At Close Range," two pieces refreshingly and not surprisingly written by someone other than her. Complete Notice

Google Dell Microsoft
Created by George ALEFantes
7/10/2008 - DELL COMPUTER BETRAYS CUSTOMERS BY COLLUDING WITH THE RIAA
For a few years now, we have defended Dell Computer against a myriad of rash and unschooled complaints by otherwise knowledgeable IT enthusiasts. But today we have learned that Dell Computer secretly colluded with the RIAA, the Recording Industry Association of America, by disabling the Stereo Mix, Mono Mix, and Wave Out sound recording functionality on certain laptop offerings to make recording of streaming audio more difficult to achieve. Complete Notice

6/27/2008 - SPAIN EXTENDS HUMAN RIGHTS TO APES AND OTHER PRIMATES
At first glance, the fact that a country's legislature has for the first time in the known history of the world granted human rights to non-human animals might appear to be a step in the right direction. But unfortunately the country was Spain and, even worse, the country was Spain. Complete Notice

Bill Gates Microsoft
Created by George ALEFantes
6/27/2008 - BILL GATES RETIRES FROM MICROSOFT
Born October 28, 1955 in Seattle Washington, as William Henry Gates the Third, the middle child of a successful lawyer father and ex-teacher mother, Mary, first female president of her local United Way. Her relationship with fellow board member, also of IBM, was instrumental in winning Microsoft the project to create the operating system for IBM's new personal computer. The rest being history. In addition, his grandfather had been vice president of National Bank and his great-grandfather had been a mayor and state legislator. Complete Notice

George Carlin and Richard Pryor
Created by George ALEFantes, "Richard Pryor" painting created by Ray Edwards
ArtOfRay.Com
6/22/2008 - GEORGE CARLIN DIES
George Carlin died of heart problems today, 6/22/2008, at the age of seventy-one, joining Richard Pryor, who died 12/10/2005. Not only were they the greatest of story-tellers, but they were alternative masters of social commentary and the deconstruction of our culture and our language, and they used the innocuous veil of comedy as their vehicle. They were at once like the dentists who deliver a dire diagnosis and like the nitrous oxide that makes the procedure possible through laughter. Complete Notice

6/13/2008 - TIM RUSSERT DIES
Tim Russert, longtime host of TV's "Meet the Press," truly stood alone as a television journalist with integrity and intelligence uncommon in the modern media. In fact, he was as close to being an enlightened journalist and interviewer as television allows, and probably even more than it prefers. Complete Notice

6/8/2008 - "FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT?"
Despite Hillary Clinton's mention of June Assassinations as if she were discussing June weddings, no one stepped forward to accommodate her last-ditch, not-so-subliminal suggestion. Instead, June of 2008 began with the long-awaited victory for Barack Obama followed eventually by Hillary Clinton's concession. Complete Notice

3/21/2008 - "TYPICAL WHITE PERSON"
We weren't so impressed or hopeful in the first place. We expected the mania to wane or be cut short. We figured the Clinton's would use their tricks, connections, and experience to deflate him, if not during the primaries, certainly at the convention. They managed to force him into a desperate dialog about race, no matter how he tried to avoid it, which he miserably failed - and on the heels of his abysmal stereotype about seeing how well Bill Clinton could dance before he could be called a Brother. Complete Notice

George ALEFantes

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